Where did we go wrong ?

Whenever I am faced with a conflict to focus on work or to focus on well being of a family member or a friend, I always remind myself

“We are building societies and systems to live quality lives, for sure not the other way around”

Anytime you feel your physical health or mental health is at stake take a break!
As a friend and well wisher I am saying, take these words beyond anyone's and first fix them.

A lot of leaders lost the fundamental crux on which we build our systems and society.

It is natural happiness that drives success and that is sustainable. But the success driven happiness won’t last longer.

What to look for in a relationship

One of the basic life skills is knowing how to choose your personal relationships either romantic/ personal which our educational system fails to teach us but at least it should be learnt from a big brother. And so here I am writing this for my brothers and sisters out there who wants to choose their life partner wisely!

This concept/theory is from my understanding of relationships at intellectual level, there are a lot of emotional layers involved based on the individual personalities that is very subjective.

3 things I wanted to look :

1. Physical Attraction
2. Compatibility
3. Conflict resolution and commitment to the relationship

Physical attraction: It is the level to which both are physically attracted to each other.

Physical attraction plays a crucial role in the initial stage of a relationship, it is the initial spark that pushes us to understand each other, but as individuals connect at a deeper level, the importance of physical attraction is minimized as you see each person as a whole!

Compatibility:

I look for compatibility in 2 dimensions
1) Width of Overlap:
It is the number of topics/ areas of interest that are common to each other. The higher the common area higher the possibility for deep connections. Some examples include movies, genres, stories, books, TV shows, sports, tech, travel, philosophers, ideologies,

2) Depth of Overlap:
It is level of detail/ expertise in the common aspect/ depth of understanding to and which you connect with each other.
Example: Two people can connect on badminton and one can play once a day some can play everyday obviously if both play everyday the depth is high and bond is stronger!!


Conflict resolution and commitment to the relationship:

If a connection is made then next step is in understanding how you resolve the conflict.
Conflicts obviously arise since it is two different entities and their overlap is never 100 % and when a conflict arise it is a test to their commitment the relationship!!

For good conflict resolution we need to have great steps:

Individual Awareness of the conflict
Communicating the way ppl feel in a mutually trusting environment and
Commitment to the relationship to put wellbeing of relationship over individual at decisive moments.